journey.

the last time i posted, i was beginning the second year of my master's degree. to be honest, that almost feels like yesterday. there is a surreal amount of fullness packed in from the proverbial yesterday to right now. sitting on my bed, watching the sun stream through my window and writing a blog post seemed like the perfect way to begin the monumental weekend ahead.

tomorrow morning, i graduate with my master's degree in vocal performance from the cleveland institute of music. two years ago, i graduated from indiana wesleyan university and had no idea where my life would lead. there is a bit of similar feeling now, but is seasoned with more maturity, faith and a bit more wisdom.

i love that our Lord gives us memory and the ability to reflect with discernment. we can see His faithfulness woven into our lives sometimes with the most subtle seam, and other times as the seam that is obviously holding all of the pieces together. we can see how His mercy and gentleness have formed us and shaped us, and how His rod and staff guided us through even more treacherous courses than the ones we faced at that past moment. i think on my Gentle Shepherd this morning... thankful for the many times He was faithful when i wasn't, for the many times He remembered me when i forgot Him. i'm thankful that He pulled me out of the depths of my despair, and did not leave me to be devoured by my enemies.

oh, my Faithful Lover, the Lover of my soul! have me in Your mercy, have me in Your grace. lead me on and go before me, come behind me, walk beside me.

overwhelmed by our Lord's goodness, i'm finding it impossible to blog about what i originally intended! i apologize for the "mushiness" ! that is a little bit of a recurring circumstance with this blog... i often begin with an idea, and then am led somewhere a little bit different.

for this post, i think i will just highlight some of the year in a list. in future posts, i will definitely be expounding upon a few of these highlights. i've been blessed with incredible opportunities, learned incredible amounts in my craft and come to know and love myself in a better and Christ-like way. soli deo gloria!

1. i got to be cinderella's wacky stepmother in massenet's cendrillon. what a fun, rich and challenging role.
2. i took an opera history and literature course and truly loved it. wow!
3. made plenty of mistakes, and learned from them - amen!
4. sang at indiana wesleyan in handel's messiah. nothing prepares me for christmas quite like that glorious work.
5. grew closer to brian, and learned more about loving unconditionally. (still a work in progress)
6. made better friends
7. kept in touch with a dear friend from far away. what an unexpected and blessed friendship that will surely last a lifetime.
8. i just sang better. what a great feeling.
9. i kicked butt in my coursework, and on my comprehensive exams.
10. i learned that sometimes biting the bullet and making a tough decision that may disappoint others is rich in blessing, tenfold what you can imagine. 
11. performed at the kennedy center (!!!) and performed at severance hall in one of the most beautiful symphonies ever composed (!!!). dreams do come true! (thanks, Lord!)
12. by God's grace, learned and continuing to learn how to let go of fear, anxiety and stress. it has no place in my life, and certainly is not entitled to rule it! 
13. i'm learning forgiveness, and actually forgiving. people, it's life changing. **i will be writing about this more!
14. i had joy. i allowed myself to enjoy the blessings i've been given and not let misery invade.
15. this is my favorite: on april 7, 2012, i entered into full communion with the Holy Roman Catholic Church. 

i finally found my Home. after a long struggle, i threw down my nets, left the familiar shores of galilee and followed my Savior to where he was gently leading. thanks be to GOD! i will definitely be blogging more on this - but know that i'm overjoyed, unbelievably thankful, and overwhelmingly excited to journey forward.

to close, i ponder a group of journeyers nearly two thousand years ago. yesterday marked the Ascension of Our Lord Jesus Christ into heaven. i imagine that as His beloved followers looked on and watched Him ascend, they were full of questions, joy and probably some fear. the Lord, whom they could touch and see, and walk with and gather around the table with was leaving His time on earth. but, He promised the Comforter, the Counselor, the Advocate. His very own Holy Spirit to descend on His people. and my friends, God keeps His promises - always. He never leaves us, nor forsakes us. He gave His Spirit to His people at Pentecost and we have the Holy Spirit today.

as i face my future, i look forward knowing God's faithfulness. my prayer is for the Holy Spirit to lead me.... and nine days before Pentecost, I pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on His Church.

i will continue to sing of His faithfulness.


"... and behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." .matthew 28:20.

gentle Jesus, Jesus' love.

.samantha.