hello.
it has been quite some time...well over a year. how does time move rapidly and in slow motion all at once? i guess that is one of the many mysteries of our time here. nevertheless, i am thankful for the time that has gone by... each and every day: the joys - the achievements - the milestones, - and the pain - the mountains - the valleys.
i posted today on my facebook page an-often-called-trite, Christian saying : when God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. and as i remarked on facebook, i will remark here: i'd call it trite, if it wasn't so beautifully and painfully true. friends, this has been one of those defining years... you know the kind. the kind with such happiness that it makes you hurt, and the kind with such hurt, that you just... hurt. i'm telling you though, i rejoice(!) because i've learned in God's precious mercy, more about patience -also called 'long-suffering', forgiveness, and unconditional love. i've learned about the sheer power of prayer. i've learned more about what it means to work with every ounce of strength and put your whole heart and soul into something....into someone.
no, i do not have it all together. memories of grief and fear flood in as i write this post. some aren't even memories. i've learned about disappointments with friends, disappointments with myself, i've learned humility [that hurts], and learned from how scary and ugly jealousy can be [in myself]. and of course, there is the ever-present concern of the unknown. i have to smile at this one, because i can just feel how patient the Lord is with me - with all of us - on this one! sometimes i think - if i could just KNOW!
but there is freedom and peace in living one. day. at a time. i think i will learn this my whole life long.
and His mercies are new with the morning. and He is bringing me through - the joys and the sorrows. amen and amen.
a verse from a familiar psalm struck me today:
[You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies]
and then i began to think about the blessing poured over me in the presence of the hardship this year has brought. a feast of blessing! i'm not just talking about becoming engaged, getting a new job, moving to a new city - those are immense, by the way - i'm talking about those every day little things. the ways i've been refined. the ways God has literally provided just what we've needed. i feel like i'm starting to ramble here, so i'll stop... [if anyone wants to talk more about this, let's get together in person, or via skype with a cup of coffee.... or better yet, a glass of wine.] FEAST of BLESSING!
after all of this muttering and blathering and rambling has been said: i feel prepared for something new. in about a month, brian and i are moving to kansas city, missouri, where i will be working at the opera house, starting my dream career one day at a time. brian is looking for a job, and eager for the chance at a fresh start to find where God is most certainly calling him and has purposed him [can you tell i'm excited for him? :) ] we covet your prayers. we know the road ahead will be adventurous and exciting, full of newness, faithfulness, provision and love....even when it isn't easy.
last tidbit: i read today online that kansas city is the true gateway to the west (the major starting point for three different western trails), and that you can still see the grooves from the frontier wagon wheels over some parts of the state line. at the risk of sounding romantically cheesy - that resonated with me. going to this city, starting fresh, where so many people before me had gone to begin their own journey to a new place. they were no doubt excited and fearful, staring into the unknown.
as i am about to do the same thing, that knowledge gives me fortitude.
it's time for NEW.
peace.
.samantha.
